If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
