You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
