I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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