Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
