I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
PANTIES FOUND
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
