A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
