sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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