It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
