Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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