ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
