You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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