The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
