is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
