You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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