Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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