Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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