Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
