I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
