I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
