hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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