i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
