Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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