you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
