been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
