After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
