After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
