Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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