Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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