i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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