Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
