i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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