I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
