your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
