as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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