I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
