HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
