Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
