Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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