I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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