considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
