Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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