Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
