I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We left the knife in your bed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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