Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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