It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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