Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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