so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
