you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
