I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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