is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
