Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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